Contradictions

There have been a couple of times when 2 months’ worth of things happened in 2 days. Mostly because I procrastinated when I should’ve been studying and then tried to cram everything into my poor brain overnight. Literally.

I’ve said it a number of times and I’ll repeat it here too: If it wasn’t for fabulous friends (I am talking to YOU, Fletcher and Petrus) there is no way that I would’ve finished my undergrad career. How many times have they arrived at my residence’s door two days before a major test or exam to “remind” me of it? Many many times, I can tell you. And let’s be honest; to be reminded you have to know about it in the first place. And because they knew me well they also arrived with notes for me to start studying from…. May my children never ever read this and get ideas.

My first year I was good regarding attending class. The first 3 terms anyway. But I was never in my life good at starting to study earlier than the night before the exam and that continued. Unfortunately, by the middle of my second year I realised that class attendance (at least for some subjects) didn’t improve my understanding of the work at all. Especially the classes presented by a quitting alcoholic. He was shaking, stammering and craving so much that my knowledge DECLINED after listening to him. Unfortunately for my class attendance record I chose that subject as one of my majors in my third year. So I ended up attending most of my Biochemistry lectures and very very few of my Genetics ones. In my defence, I was a student and most of my Genetics lectures were at 08:00. I mean R E A L L Y. If they intend teaching at that inhumane time of day they couldn’t really expect me to attend and they couldn’t have anything much to say. Right?

So I spent many a night catching up the night before exams. And usually I managed to get through all the work I wanted to. I was also very very good at spotting what work would NOT be examined so that saved a bit of time. And except for the Time of the Pine Tree* and the Other Time of the Pine Tree** I mostly got away with it.

Once I hit my post graduate stage things started to change. It had to. Post grad is in many ways the same as having a job. You only receive your bursary if you meet deadlines. And those deadlines apply to practical work. Practical work can’t be done overnight, no matter how hard you try!

The last couple of years things tended to happen on schedule. In other words, spread out over more than one day. It is tough having to grow up and become responsible. πŸ˜‰

And then we had a year and a half of utter schedule. Every week was accounted for but measured in doses of chemo and radiation, not days or hours.

After that there was no schedule at all except what the kids’ schools dictated. But again, things happened one after the other, bit by bit.

I realised today that I am out of practise. Yesterday and today were both really intense and I can feel it. Wouter can feel it. When I become preoccupied I tend to get extremely irritated by Wouter. Yes, I don’t know why he sticks with me either. I am preoccupied, busy processing and planning, and Wouter has the nasty habit of actually telling me things. What is he THINKING? I don’t want to know ANYTHING more.***

Yesterday, at Woutertjie’s swimming gala (he grabbed the edge of the pool and hand-over-handed to the other side of the pool while rest of the Grade 1s swam widths), I got a call to offer me a job. One that I applied for 6 months ago (2 October?) and interviewed for last Thursday. This is huge. From 1 May I will be Senior Scientific Officer at the department of Chemistry, University of the Western Cape. After more than a year of job hunting I landed a job. And a job that I actually WANT. Isn’t God amazing? If they offered me this position from January it would’ve been the wrong time. Now is the right time. The children are settled at school, I am settled at school, I know the teachers and they know me. They know my mom, who will be looking after the kids during the day, after school, all the time that Wouter and I aren’t available. And I will get a salary.

I’ve been very reserved here about our financial issues. Suffice to say, the issues are substantial. Beyond substantial. There have been months and weeks that we only managed to survive by the Grace of God. But now we have hope. The train has reversed out of the tunnel and was replaced by a flood light. In fact, we are approaching the end of the tunnel.

Life is good.

Added to that, it is today 3 years since we got Boeta’s clean scan results.

Again, life is good.

So why am I so completely out of sorts? I am snappy, I am irritated, I am just not myself****. I feel like an overstimulated baby.

For the first time in YEARS things (all things) are falling into place and now I am falling out.

I think I am going to balance my falling out with the cork of an excellent bottle of red wine being pulled out. I will let you know how well it worked. πŸ˜‰

*That is a long story for another day.
**Don’t ask
***Mooooooo
****Wouter, on a brave day, might say that I AM myself.

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One Response

  1. Man, ek wens ek het so ‘n slag met woorde gehad soos jy, dan kon ek presies vir jou vertel hoe baie ek jou blog geniet!! Thanks dat hier nou weer gereeld inspirasie en humor verskyn.. Wouter on a brave day… Het my nou heerlik laat lag.

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