Someone hand me the tissues

Tomorrow morning I am talking in church.  We are in the middle of a course about obedience and I will discuss Woutertjie’s story.  How we had to come to a stand still and really listen to what God wanted to say to us.

For the record, I still don’t know exactly what He was saying.  But I did come to a stand still.  Which, in my not-so-humble-opinion, is a very big part of listening.  It is years later and I still haven’t got going in any real sense.  But I am listening.

I have to assemble a couple of photos for the talk and get a couple of dates straight.  But that meant that I had to go and read the first 2 months of the blog.  There is a good reason why I try to avoid that part of the blog.  It feels like a stranger wrote that.  A naive, blindly optimistic stranger with no idea what was still coming.  And at the same time, a stranger that tried so hard to hide behind an optimistic facade.

How did we manage to make it this far?  Now it takes the littlest things to make me go into meltdown, and yet back then I managed to keep things going.  Have I gone soft?  Am I finally in touch with everything that I didn’t want to feel back then?  Am I just a wuss?

I don’t know.  But I have to get the presentation done for tomorrow so I don’t have time to continue analysing myself now.  One thing is certain – I have to make time to blow my nose before I continue.

Yes, you needed to know that.

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2 Responses

  1. Good luck with that! You’ll do great. I just had to do a talk too and totally lost it. I ended having most of the 80 – 100 ppl in the audience in tears. I thought I would be stronger, but I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.

  2. Ai Suzanne, Jy is my hero!!! Mens kan net so lank maak of jy ok is. Laas week se ‘n kolega vir my ons ma’s is ons eie grootste vyand. Wil net die beste vir ons kinders en mans doen en gee en dan vergeet ons van ons self. Hoop die praatjie het goed gegaan! xxx Laat weet?

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