It’s been a rough couple of weeks

That typical end-of-the-year rush.  Except that I am sure it is worse this year.  Like I am sure it is worse every year.  But this year it is worse that ever.  I am sure!

I am a SAHM.  A stay at home mom.  But most days I leave the house at 07:30 to take the kids to school and return at 18:00 to pick them up at my mom’s house.  I don’t know what I would’ve done if my mom wasn’t around to do help with taxi duties.  And I can honestly say that I don’t spend my days wasting time.  I am busier than I’ve ever been when I was doing a real job.  My mom of all people came to my defense the other day, reminding me that I’m not a real SAHM, since I do some part-time work as well and some community work on the side.  And my mom is a hard taskmaster.  If she feels that I deserve some leniency I think I should start cutting myself some slack.  Easier said than done though.  I’m not very forgiving towards myself.

It is one of those weird things about myself that I am quite aware of.  I am utterly forgiving of others.  I empathise with their problems.  I expect that other people will have days that they feel down and will want a shoulder (mine) to lean on.  And I am ready to provide that shoulder free of charge, with no strings attached and with confidentiality guaranteed.

At the same time I expect the exact opposite of myself.  I need to be self-contained at all times.  If I do crack up, I do it on my own, rebuild the fortress and then rejoin the world.  There are some people who have the unwelcome knack of knowing when my defenses are down.  Deirdre being one of them.  When she suspects that something is up, it usually is. Deirdre is cool like that.

Back to the point.  Now to tackle the last few weeks of this year.  Wish me luck.  December is promising to be a challenging month.


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