Yeah, I’m posting

I’ve been planning how to get back to posting for weeks.  Months.  But I never do.  I don’t really know why.  I even write down things that happen to make sure I remember to post about it.  But I never do.  Partly I feel like I don’t have anything to say anymore.  For so long I jabbered on about blood counts, treatment options, family issues, hospital stays and whatever else.  And now I don’t.  What do I write about now?

But today I can just fall back into the groove.  Because Boeta is sick.  He started with a cold last week and started coughing soon after.  He never had chest issues before his diagnoses.  He had ear problems until he got grommets, but that was it.  Now, since the end of his treatment, a cough goes to pneumonia.  Always.  Cristina, our oncologist, says it can’t be treatment or cancer related.  So I don’t know why it is happening.  But it is.

He was coughing but OK on Friday.  Yesterday afternoon  he complained of a headache so I gave him some medicine and took his temperature.  39.2C.  Nice.  So I started nebulising with Duolin (I still had some left from his hospital stash) and doing my version of physio on his lungs to get the phlegm moving.  I’ve seen it done a lot of times.

Today he is still hitting between 39.2C and 39.6C, depending on which ear I use to test (I invested in an ear thermometer when he was neutropenic the whole time), even though he is fully dosed with Panado and Ponstan.  So tomorrow we are off to the doctor.

It feels strange taking so long to go for medical attention.  Even a year after the end of treatment I still have to hold myself back – as soon as he gets a fever I want to fall back into the habit of treating him as a fragile, sick little boy.  I want to rush him off to hospital.  And I know I should act like the parent of a normal child and wait out the weekend.  I shouldn’t know that taking him to ER won’t cost that much more.  I shouldn’t be tempted to phone the paediatrician or the oncologist.  I have the cellphone numbers of both.  And I am very very proud of myself for taking time to stand back, looking at Boeta like a medical professional and deciding that he is breathing easily, he does sort of respond to fever medicine (down to 38C), he isn’t lethargic.  In other words he will be OK until tomorrow when we can see our usual GP.

So tomorrow the kids won’t go to school.  No loss, since they predict a maximum of 14C.  And I will get an doctor’s appointment ASAP.  And then I will post again with the verdict.  Because I am back in my comfort zone.  I am the parent of a sick child.  I am a very sad case.


3 Responses

  1. Hugs, hope it passes quick without any complications and it must take huge effort for you to remain calm and be logical. dont know if I could do that in your shoes. Hope you all get to have a duvet day together.

  2. I am so sorry he is sick = but yes, we do tend to blog more in our comfort zones.

  3. yay! good to hear from you. nay! not so good that Woutertjie is sick.

    I started writing a blog too (its ok, no-one reads it) and I find that when things go well I don’t feel the need to post. When its bad, I need to express it. Also, when its good I don’t want to think about the bad and be reminded of it, so I just put my head in the sand and bugger on.

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