Deirdre (Ethan’s mom) and I went to visit Enrico’s parents this afternoon.  We’ve both been dreading the moment – what do you say to someone who just lost their child?  On the way we were discussing whether we would want someone like us to visit if this was our situation.  I decided that, even though I would tell everyone to go away, I would still want them around.  As we parked in front of their house neither of us spoke. 

S:  (sadly hopeful, but knowing we wouldn’t)  We could still turn around.

D:  Yes, we could.

We walked to the door.

S:  (wishing things were different and we didn’t have to be there under these circumstances)  We could still turn around.

D:  Yes, we could.  But we won’t.  We have a sister in there.

And that summed it up for me.  Living in the cancer world really makes us family.  And families support each other.  It is our jobs. 

Deirdre dropped another pearl of wisdom.  She reckons the paediatric cancer (or I guess any cancer) life is like the Matrix.  But instead of being given the choice of taking the red (green?  blue?) pill and entering the Matrix, we are given only one pill.  The one that drops us into this world.  And we aren’t given a choice in taking it. 

All we can do is be there for each other. 

And pray.

Because this family lost a child today.


9 Responses

  1. Sometimes the things that touch us most are the things we do because they are the right thing to do rather than because we want to. Well done for going, it must have been very hard

  2. Ag Zani, dis so hartseer. 😦

  3. everyone needs their family (be they blood or not) even or rather especially when you think you don’t.

  4. Family aren’t only those you are born into but those you choose to share your lives – only are often special in different ways as you pick them because they touch your heart in some way which changes it irreversibly.
    Our prayers for you all!!

  5. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for everyone.

  6. Keeping all of you in my prayers.

  7. 😦 (((HUGS))) for everyone… including Woutertjie who lost a friend

  8. Such a great bit of writing Suzanne, although I know it’s not the point. Just love to you all .

  9. Dankie Liewe Jesus dat U sulke wonderlike mense op die aarde sit om ander te inspireer. Elke keer wat ek die inskrywings lees besef ek net weer eens hoe gelukkig ek is en dat daar soveel mense is wat met groter probleme en hatseer rond loop en nog steeds sterk kan wees. Glo die Here sal mooi na hulle ook kyk in die hartseer tyd. Dit is wonderlik om te sien hoe die Here deur julle werk.

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