I have so much to say

The whole day today I thought of things to blog about but when I sit down to do it nothing comes out.  It’s been this way for the last 2 weeks or so.  I’ve had times like that before but usually I snapped out of it after a couple of days.  By now I know it means that there are issues that I’m afraid to deal with.  Or think about.  Or whatever.  After not being able to type up anything for a while the dam bursts and then everything comes pouring out and I feel better.

I wish I was able to break down on command and get everything out and feel better.  Because right now I need it.

My body refuses to relax because that would mean that I can start thinking.  And apparently a part of me doesn’t want to think.  I am constantly restless.  I am agitated.  I am impatient.  And I am sad.  I’ve had a headache since yesterday because my back and shoulders are completely knotted up.  Physically and emotionally I feel like crap.

I wish I could take a day off and just indulge in a pity party and get it out of my system.  But tomorrow we are off to hospital again and then my face needs to be up.  So I will just have to make normal again.

Advertisements

5 Responses

  1. En nou voel ek so baie wat ek vir jou wil sê, maar ek weet nie hoe nie. Maar ek het vir jou/julle gebid — en dis die beste “sê”.

    Genade en vrede.

  2. Ai vriendin. Weet hoe jy voel. Een ding wat ek wel ondervind het is dat dit soms beter is vir my om net normaal te probeer lyk en aangaan. My onderbewussyn is heeltyd besig om met dinge te deal, en teen die tyd dat ek kans kry om bewustelik daarmee te deal, het ek al die helfte van die storm oorleef en uitgesorteer. Jy is sterker as wat jy dink. Byt vas.

  3. Sjoe girl, jy het ‘n baie moeilike jaar agter die rug. En jy moes baie veranderinge maak, jou loopbaan het in die slag gebly (dalk was dit nie ‘n slegte ding nie,) en normaal was net nie meer daar nie. Enige iemand sou so voel. Miskien moet jy probeer om oor die naweek die pity party in te pas, ‘n lekker huil is partykeer net die ding. Baie, baie sterkte.

  4. lvj

  5. Ag Suzanne, sterkte. Wat kan mens sê?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: