My knees are buckling

I am taking strain.  There was a possibility that Boeta might be discharged today.  That was until his chest “sounded closed up” this morning.  The paediatrician (Dr Jonda Kerner is on duty this weekend) actually told me that she was worried about his lungs.  Doctors never say things like that because they are scared that parents might freak out.  When they say it they mean it.

Jonda asked the physiotherapist to see Boeta and sort out his lungs.  Wouter was with him when she came (I was holding Carien down – more about that later) and Boeta freaked out.  Apparently he kicked both the physio and Sharon (our nurse) and they had to literally pin him down to get the treatment done.  The treatment involves her tapping him on the back.  If I did it at home he would fall asleep while I was doing it.  But he freaked out and fought every step of the way.

The physiotherapist told me later that we are raising an oncology brat and have to work on discipline.  She used nicer words and meant well.  And to a degree I have to agree with her but then I also know that he doesn’t like to have anything done to him when I am not around.  We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

When he had to be nebulised later I sat with him and he took with mask with no questions asked and just did it.  Perfectly.

His left lung is still “sounding wheezy” and his oxygen saturation is at only 95% but he is definitely looking a lot better than this morning.  Jonda says he really stuggled to breathe this morning – everywhere she listened it was just wheezing and gurgling. 

Carien was diagnosed with bronchitis on Tuesday and started with antibiotics.  Yesterday she was still no better – coughing and fever of over 38.  Jonda asked that I bring her in today to be checked out because:

1.  Fever lasting that long while she is on treatment isn’t good.

2.  Boeta was supposed to go home today and we don’t want him to contract what she has.

Turns out her chest is clear, but both her ears are infected.  Badly.  While she’s been on broad spectrum antibiotics (Zinnat) for 6 days.  Jonda decided to call in the big guns (for normal people – Boeta gets the really big guns), ie Rocephin.

Rocephin can be given intra-muscular or intravenous.  They say it hurts a lot.  And it is a big volume that has to be injected, so I decided to go for the IV route.  Once again I had to hold my child down.  Just a different one this time.  She fought so much but in an almost beaten way.  She complained but knew that there was no way out.  It is heart-breaking to see your child like that.

Jonda only found a vein on the third attempt.  And Carien was moaning “eina tannie!”.  There are many people who think that I should’ve left the room and let the pros get on with it, but I feel that I am the only comfort she has at that stage.  And my heart breaking isn’t enough reason to desert her.

Once the drip was up  it went better.  She received the Rocephin over 30 minutes to make sure that it didn’t “burn” her going in.  She fell asleep on my lap in the play room.  When the Ab was done I asked the sister to take her fever – I thought it may be about 37.5C – and it was 38.2C.  For some reason she doesn’t feel as warm as she is, KWIM*?  She is very miserable tonight.  She clung to me from when I walked through the door until the moment she fell asleep in my arms.  And then she kept on clinging some more.  This is the first time in her short life that she is really ill and she is not a happy chappy.

The good things about today are that Tiesies (my baby sister who hasn’t been a baby in many many years) and Fanie came to visit in hospital.  I needed to be told that I am an OK mother after being told that I wasn’t**.  And Boeta ate very well today.  I had to remind him that Tannie Alta (sister Stoltenkamp, the head of the paediatric ward) was going to put a tube in his nose to his tummy if he didn’t eat and that made him eat up pretty quickly.  He is feeling better tonight than this morning.

Now I just have to feel better tomorrow.


*KWIM = know what I mean

**She didn’t say that.  She said she realised that we are in a difficult position but that Boeta’s lack of cooperation means that he doesn’t get better.


6 Responses

  1. (More) bigbigbig HUGS.

    Just keep your eye on the prize – life will seem so easy once this ueber-shitty year is over.

    Loads of love,


  2. Hectic!
    Zinnat is quite useless for my kids too, and they often end up with a secondary infection after using it

  3. Big hugs Suzanne, I think of you everyday and I can not imagine just how tiring this all must be for you! but know that this will come to an end and that it’s not forever. You are an amazing mom doing an outstanding job so never doubt yourself!

    My prayers are always with you guys xx

  4. Ek wil net vir jou sê dat ek reken Woutertjie se vertroue in sy ma is die beste bewys vir my van die feit dat jy ‘n uitstekende ma is.

  5. Someone told me today : “Life is for the living” and it sounds to me that all of you are doing a lot of living, maybe not exactly what you had in mind (understatement of the year!) but living nevertheless! Still holding you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. I second this from Elmarie: “Ek wil net vir jou sê dat ek reken Woutertjie se vertroue in sy ma is die beste bewys vir my van die feit dat jy ‘n uitstekende ma is.” Jy hoef nie eens te twyfel of jy ‘n goeie ma is nie, want as ‘n mens jou blog lees, kan jy lees dat jy omgee – en DIT is wat ‘n ma maak. As jy net happy goed die heel tyd geskryf het, sou ‘n paar van ons gewonner het oor jou ma-wees!!!!!! Onthou ook: ma-wees beteken nie jy het ALTYD die antwoorde nie, maar jy is bereid om by ander die antwoorde te kry!!!! En dit doen jy defnitief!

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