I am tired of all of this

I am so tired.  The thought of having to get through another day makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide.  I am so  bone tired.  And now I typed up a long update, just to have WordPress boot me out and wipe the text.  That did not make me any less inclined to play hide and hide with the world.

Boeta is looking a lot better today.  He is talking and laughing but still not eating.  Nimpie brought him his usual favourites – flavoured milk and Doritos (aka triangle chips) – but he only had about 5 Doritos and fed me the rest.  He doesn’t take no for an answer.  Makes you wonder whose child he is.

I’ve had a headache for 3 days now.  When I feel stressed I bunch my shoulders and clamp my jaw.  A recipe for a disastrous headache.  So I am sore.  I am tired.  I look sore and tired.  Deidre (Ethan’s mom) told me so today.  I miss that woman.  I miss the proper paediatrics ward.  I miss the oncomom tea parties.  The lot of us would have a raucous time in the corridor outside the private rooms where our children were in isolation.  Close enough to hear your child calling, far enough to fake some normality.

They say it is going to be another 6 weeks before the paediatric ward revamp is complete.  I don’t think I can wait another 6 weeks.

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