Looking back

It has taken me a long time to understand and accept the scope of the miracle that God has bestowed upon us. 

Yesterday while I was waiting for Woutertjie to wake up following his scan Cristina came past and we spent quite some time chatting.  Me sitting in the hospital chair with Boeta curled up in my arms sleeping the sleep of innocents. 

She says that she has never seen results like Boeta’s.  And for this reason she is now more worried about him than at the start of treatment – back then there was no risk.  He was going to die without treatment and she could basically try anything.  Now he is “healthy” in that he has no clinical signs of cancer.  Suddenly the risks are huge. 

Chemotherapy means that you poison the whole to kill the bits.  How far should you go about poisoning a healthy whole to kill bits that may or may not be there?  Chemo can lead to different cancers later in life.  It is a catch-22 of the highest quality.  And all we can do is pray for wisdom for the doctors.  So far they have reconsidered many parts of the treatment.  Boeta isn’t getting the operation that is an integral part of the treatment, for example.  Thank God for granting wisdom.

Cristina said yesterday that she didn’t expect Boeta to survive to celebrate his 4th birthday.  And here we are, done with his party and celebrating his birthday tomorrow.  He is doing well and had lots of fun with his friends.  He is (once again) eating like there is no tomorrow.  He gained more than 1.5kg in 10 days! 😀

I’ve been wondering for a long time, since this started in fact, why this happened to us.  And I’ve had a feeling that God may be preparing me / us for something special.  Yesterday in hospital I overheard the family of a 12 year old girl talking.  She was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour on Tuesday.  On a whim I walked over and shared our story with them.  I think it did them good to hear it but it definitely did me good to tell it.  They are from a town about 20 minutes from where I finished school and they know my parents.  In the end I gave them a crash course on cancer, chemo and hospital life.  I really wish there was someone around when Woutertjie was diagnosed to tell me that I will sleep again (once the body gets too tired to be overridden by worrying), that I will start to understand the medical terms being thrown around and that life will go on.  The closest person I had was Lea, whom I met online and who has been a sanity saver more than once.  She advised me to start a blog.  There is no way I could’ve made it this far with any semblance of sanity (no comment from the peanut gallery about my perceived sanity please) if I didn’t unload here.

Please spare a prayer for this beautiful girl.  I have to find out from her parents if I may mention her name here.  She needs all the prayers she can get.


5 Responses

  1. Just wanted to wish your little man the bestest, most wonderful, most amazing birthday ever! We want to see lots and lots of photos please!!!!!

    I’m so happy to be able to be there for you!

    I will keep that girl in my prayers and thoughts too and I will pray for wisdom for the doctors and strength for all of you.

    Hugs to all of you!!!!!

  2. Happy birthday to Wouter!! How absolutely amazing is your child?!
    It’s so special that you’re able to help another family now.

  3. Baie geluk met Boeta se verjaarsdag!

    Ek weet dat alles in ons lewe ten goede meewerk en dat julle wonderwerk hoop vir ander kan bring. Jy het al dikwels gepraat oor hoop en nou word dit weereens ‘n werkwoord. Steeds baie in my gedagtes en gebede.

  4. Lekker om met jou te gesels het.

    Baie geluk met Woutertjie se verjaarsdag. Dit het nogal nuwe betekenis om te dink hy is nog ‘n jaar gespaar. Mag daar nog baie geseënde, gesonde en gelukkige jare vir hom voor lê, en vir jou, Wouter en Karien ook.

  5. Happy Birthday to Wouterjie!!! We all gave a toast to him.
    Reading your blog today – you really HAVE to read the book I mentioned in my comment for your last posting – this is just the sort of situation that the book discusses – you are doing SO MANY things just right! Thanks for so bravely sharing your vulnerabilities as well as your strengths.
    Lots of love and support to you all!

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